It’s a little hard to believe that it’s been one whole year since I posted on this blog. I kept meaning to give an update to what few remaining readers I may have, but the days and months kept escaping me, until here we are! A new year, a new decade, and that’s right, my 30th birthday is tomorrow. In 3 hours, I will officially kiss my 20s goodbye and move on to the next phase!
I must admit having mixed feelings about turning 30. I’ve never been someone to get particularly worked up over my birthday, but this is the first birthday in a long time that has seemed like an actual milestone. And even though I am very happy with my life, there is something about this birthday that has gotten me a bit wistful/nostalgic. Still, I am trying not to dwell too much about the past and the coulda, woulda, shouldas. Of course there are things I regret in my last 3 decades of life, but I know it doesn’t do me any good to think about those things and I need to just keep moving forward.
So what has SF been up to in 2009, you ask? In a nutshell, 2009 was a year of long hours at work but also numerous special occasions to celebrate and lots of travel. I worked on two trials. I traveled to New York and Chicago (for work). I traveled to Colorado, Oregon (twice), Mexico, Las Vegas (twice), Indiana, Washington DC and Jamaica (not for work). I was a bridesmaid in two friends’ weddings and attended two more as a guest. I met some of my oldest friends’ new babies and learned that others will become moms and dads in 2010. I continued to grow even closer with my wonderful boyfriend, and spent some time with his immediate family. And I made some steps forward in thinking about what I want to do with my career.
With respect to my career, I decided to look into moving out of the firm world and into the law school world, as a Legal Research and Writing professor. Most recently, I applied for a teaching position at a West Coast law school that shall not be named. While I am still unsure about whether I would want to move to the city where this partcular law school is located, it makes me feel good to be putting myself out there and getting the ball rolling. Yesterday I received a thin envelope from the law school and I assumed that it was the standard, “Thank you, but no thank you” letter. But instead it was a letter informing me that consideration of applications will now continue after winter break, and that I should let them know if I get another position in the meantime. So we shall see!
It’s really difficult to know what will make me happy in my career. Sometimes I think that I would really love to work less hours, to have more time for myself, to do something less stressful. Other times I feel like I love the challenge of my job, the level of clients that we represent, the problem solving and intellectual aspect of it. And I’m trying to decide not only what is good for me now, but what will be good for me if I get married and if we have kids. On the one hand, I feel like I should be working as hard as I can and saving as much money as I can right now, before I get to that stage; on the other hand, once I want to start a family I know that I will want to already be settled in the job/career that will be good for that life, so I should probably figure it out now. Sometimes I feel like I’m looking at a giant puzzle, and so few pieces are set in place that the rest of the puzzle is a mystery. To work at a firm? At a law school? Somewhere else entirely? To live in LA, or to move somewhere different? To have kids? Not to have kids? In a way the uncertainty is exciting, but I also would really like to have things more figured out. And I don’t know how to get out of the limbo phase because all my decisions hinge on each other and will also be affected by conversations that my boyfriend and I will need to have, but aren’t having just yet.
The bottom line is that 2010 is a huge question mark. The only thing I have no doubt about is that this will be a year of change, and that I am very excited to find out what those changes will be!
Till next time, dear readers, Happy New Year!