Can’t Read my Mind, I’m Undefined

Had I written this post last night when I planned to, after a strong-but-yummy Mandrin Cosmo at the Tropicana Bar at the Roosevelt (sheesh I’m a lightweight), it would have been much more unhappy and much less rational.  But clearer heads prevailed and I decided to sleep on the situation, and as it turns out, time, advice of everyone I know, and…well, sobriety, have lent some much needed perspective. 

Ok, I will  stop being cryptic and get to the story!  So as you may have gathered from my last few posts –or, let’s face it, this whole blog — dating pretty much turns me into a bona fide loon, and it’s been no different with EHB.  (My sincere apologies to everyone whose ears I have bent on the subject so far.)  Last Monday we went out for a drink (he had gotten a head start) and he told me that he would answer any yes-or-no question that I posed to him.  I was feeling a little gun shy, so while I asked him quite a few things, I definitely didn’t take full advantage of the situation.

Later in the week, we were chatting online and I joked that I had more questions to ask him the next time we hung out.  I didn’t really have many specific questions in mind, but I wanted to see his reaction.  He said to ask away and he’d decide whether to answer. 

Then last night he came to yet another summer event for my firm — this time dinner and the Feist concert at the Hollywood Bowl.  (The bummer was that he had to leave only a few songs into Feist because the opening acts took so long and he had so much work to do, but I appreciated him coming even though it meanthe had to stay up late working last night, and probably tonight.)  It was a really pretty night and we sort of snuggled up with his arm around me at the concert.  In between acts, when we were out of earshot from my co-workers, he started asking me what my questions were.  He commented that he could guess what my questions were going to be about.  I asked some random things, then he said he’d thought I was going to ask about our relationship and where it was going — which was definitely not my plan.  But somehow when he asked what my next question was and was looking at me so intently with his beautiful green eyes, saying “come on, what do you want to know?”  I blurted out, “Are you dating?”

He paused.  “Am I going on dates?  Yes.  Am I sleeping with other people?  No.”

I instantly regretted going there.  I can tell that my face fell – I couldn’t help it.  He continued, “I think it’s important that you also be keeping an open mind about meeting people.” 

“Ok, so you want things to be casual?” I asked.  “Well, not physically casual,” he replied.

He went on to say that he thought it was healthy to be open to meeting other people until both people have a talk and define what the relationship is.  “So let’s talk,” he said.

But we were at the Hollywood Bowl, surrounded by people, and despite my wishes, I could feel a lump forming in my throat and I bit my lip and forced a fake smile.  (He totally called me on that, by the way.  Damn.)  We decided this wasn’t the ideal time or place to have any kind of talk like that, so we tabled it.  Not too long afterward, he had to leave, and the half-finished conversation hung in the night air as I spent the rest of the concert trying to think happy thoughts and trying to keep myself warm.

I went through the whole gamut of emotions over this.  I analyzed and re-analyzed every word, trying to figure out what this meant.  Maybe he wants me to be his booty call until he meets someone he actually wants to date.  Except he hasn’t been booty calling me, and he has been dating me.  Maybe he wants to take things slow and not try to define it yet.  He did say that his last relationship moved too fast and that was a mistake, so it would be understandable to be gun-shy.  (And really, we probably haven’t known each other long enough for a DTR anyway, right?)  Maybe he does want to define things, but wants to find out where I’m at first.  Maybe he has a couple other girls he is interested in and hasn’t made up his mind yet.

But the bottom line that I realized (thanks to all my friends’ advice) is this: there is no way I will know where he’s coming from or what he’s thinking until I actually talk to him about it, so right now I am suffering a whole lot of useless angst.  And the good news is that he is incredibly open and honest, and I know he won’t beat around the bush when we talk.

Today he sent me some chats on Gmail, saying that he was really busy at work but that he wanted to say hi, and saying “We’ll have our conversation soon… 🙂 ” 

I don’t really know what I feel at this point.  Fundamentally I think he’s right that it’s good to keep an open mind, even though in practice I am virtually incapable of dating multiple people at once.  And even though it hurt my feelings a bit to hear it, I know what he’s doing is normal….I think.  So I think all I can do is keep my mind and heart open and know that whatever happens, it will be for the best.

I will keep you posted, dear readers…


A night not to forget

The moment before we kissed seemed to last forever.  Just the way I think a first kiss should be.  Looking into each others’ eyes, inching closer and closer until our lips finally touched…

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  🙂

My date on Thursday, which all my dear readers know had the potential to be truly disastrous, ended up far, far exceeding my expectations.

He had offered to pick me up from work, but since he works halfway between my work and the event, I ended up driving.  I was starting to majorly stress over the situation, especially because I had a last-minute wardrobe semi-crisis (which turned out fine.)  I wore a little black dress with a suit jacket over it, and some high heeled strappy black shoes which if I do say so myself are pretty sexy.  (EHB thought so too.  But again, I’m getting ahead of myself.)

I pulled up alongside his office and called him just as he was coming out of the building.  He was dressed great – a nice suit and a tie which he put on in the car, saying that he was embarrassed to be putting on his tie when we just met (which I thought was hilarious, given how bold it was that we were going to this event together, and that  was what embarrassed him?)  He looked like his pictures but a little less serious, and he also wears glasses which are totally cute. 

We had a good conversation on the drive and then we arrived at the event and immediately he was introduced to all my co workers, one after the other.  The event was typical of these lawyer events — a bunch of speeches that vary from mind numbingly self-congratulatory to inspiring, but at any rate go on waaaay too long.  He had bought us drinks right before dinner, but an hour later, the main course was still nowhere in sight, there were endless speeches going on, and we all needed a drink.  Bad.  Everyone at the table was starting to complain.

And guess what?  EHB totally saved the day.  He got up and came back a few minutes later.  Moments after that, the waiter appeared with not one, but two bottles of wine that EHB had purchased for the table.  Major brownie points for that.

Most of all, what I recall about the dinner was that it just felt so easy to be with him.  A couple of times I had to go say hi to people, and he did just fine chatting with my co-workers.  We spent a good amount of time whispering to each other, and things got more flirtatious.  Our knees were touching under the table.  I just felt a very strong sense of well-being.

After the event finally ended, it was only 9 pm, so we decided to go have a drink with my co-worker L. and her fiance.  We wandered down the street to the Standard (I just love that bar, and even more now!) and headed up to the roof.  It was a gorgeous night and it just felt so pleasant to be up there, having a drink, relaxing.  We ended up sort of wandering off from L. and her fiance, and going around back behind the pool where we discovered these great couches — ok, so they were glorified beds!  We lay back and sipped our drinks and talked and talked.  He’s really fascinating — he’s lived and traveled so many places in his life.  At some point I was starting to shiver and he stood up, took off his jacket and draped it over my bare legs.  He put his arm around me and we sat together, so close, and he helped me stay warm.  And it didn’t even feel like a sexual thing at that point — I mean, not that the attraction wasn’t there because it definitely was, but I mean that it felt like more than that.  Very sweet, and very simple.  He even told me that he had wanted to take my hand earlier in the night but that he had felt awkward.

At one point he said to me, “You feel very comfortable.”  And I felt the same way, like I could just be exactly myself and just be and enjoy the moment.  There were the great butterflies, but not the anxiety ridden butterflies of a first date — more the butterflies you get a little further down the road when things feel less uncertain.  There’s really no reason I should have felt that, but I did. 

And then we were sitting so close like that, with my right leg over his left, and looking at each other and smiling, and he started touching my hair very gently, brushing it out of my face (which kills me – in a good way), and our lips were so close but not touching yet, and I think I moved forward and kissed him.  So then we were kissing, and normally I am really not a PDA person unless I’m drunk (which I wasn’t), but it was so nice that I just didn’t care.

Eventually we decided to head out — had I not started to get so cold, I could have stayed there all night.  It was late by this point and way past my bedtime (especially for a “school night”) but neither of us wanted the night to end.  We headed back to get my car and he grabbed my hand, and we walked, hand in hand, through the streets of downtown.  At one point I was shivering and he stopped and exclaimed, “Oh, you’re so cold!” and put his arms around me and just stood there holding me. 

So we went back to his work so he could get his car and agreed that the next stop would be a bar closer to me, Lola’s.  He told me to start heading home and he’d call me.  But he had been unable to find his BlackBerry earlier.  So I went home, fed Noodles, changed my shoes, no call.  I called him but no answer.  So in a total leap of faith, I decided to head to Lola’s.  And sure enough, I parked a couple of blocks away and as I walked towards the bar, there he was walking toward me.  (His BB, incidentally, was in my car!)  So we hung out there for a while and it was more of the same — talking and smooching.  Finally, after 1 am, he walked me back to my car and kissed me goodnight.

Then when he got home he texted me that it was a night “not to forget.”  Hear, hear.

So there you have it, dear readers.  I have attempted to shed my superstitions for one night and actually dish.  EHB and I have our 2nd date on Tuesday night for a late dinner (as of now, 10 pm, since I have trial starting tomorrow…normally I would just postpone everything until after trial but I want to see this boy again sooner rather than later!) so I will keep you posted….


The most adventurous thing I’ve done this year

Warning, dear readers: I am about to confirm to all of you that I am officially crazy when it comes to all things dating-related.  This recent turn of events was enough to make my friend T., who has pretty much seen all my dating craziness, say “I’m speechless.”  Here goes.

As you know, I had done a fairly long stint with online dating, during which time I experienced a lot of first dates and a lot of “deaths.”  (You know, not real confirmed deaths, but guys dropping off the face of the earth — and what other explanation is there??)  In the middle of May I resigned from Match, and at the beginning of June I did the same with eHarmony.  I really wasn’t missing them at all, either.   Online dating can be extremely frustrating and way too time consuming. 

But then I had my most recent dating-related confusion/angst (about which I have been purposely vague – let’s just say I think it is decidedly a He’s Just Not That Into Me situation, though I still like the guy), and this confusion coincided with my receipt of an email from eHarmony offering me a special rate if I rejoined.

Being of the opinion that sometimes the best antidote for fretting about a boy is fretting about LOTS of different boys, I rejoined (against my better judgment).  Did the eHarmony process become any less aggravating in my three week hiatus?  Did the questions become any less daunting?  Did my selection of miniature Asian men decrease in favor of men who come up higher than my chin?  No, no, and no.

But, dear readers, I did start corresponding with one fellow with whom I’d been matched just a few days before I ditched my subscription the last time.  We somehow made it through the eHarmony process.  I even managed to answer the annoying essay questions — including the one that most instills me wth dread: “What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done this year?”  (Thank GOD for that white water rafting trip.  “Adventurous” isn’t exactly the 1st word I’d use to describe myself.  Or the 10th, or the 100th.)

Anyway, we made it past all the nonsense and started the normal emailing.  He’s funny and smart (but his emails are normal, not the long and TOO funny / well written type that signal that the guy will never ever live up to his emails).  He’s cute — and tall.  He even likes cats.  So far, so good. 

Yesterday morning, he emailed me and asked if I might want to have drinks on Thursday night.  I responded that I’d like to, but that my firm is receiving an award for my pro bono case and I have to go to the awards dinner.  Despite my very whiny post about my lack of guest, I really hadn’t been concerning myself with it since I wrote that (yet another example of writing something down helping to diffuse the intensity of my reaction) and I realized that it was a very cool honor and was fine doing my own thing an just enjoying the moment and being proud of myself. 

Anyway, I told him over email that I had the dinner that night.   Later that same day, he appeared on Gmail chat and we started chatting.  We were talking back and forth about all the various things keeping us busy (he has been working long hours, he is going out of town next weekend, etc. )  Then things took a turn for the very, very unexpected:

eHarmony Boy (hereafter “EHB”):  anyway, what i wanted to say is that if you have any time, i can try to meet up at some point even if it’s just for a little bit

SF: yeah, i’d like that

 EHB:  what’s not exciting is when you get talking with someone and then they quickly become a memory.  it’s all about the momentum 

 SF: yeah I am not a fan of the long drawn out email thing.  I don’t need more email pals 🙂  so, I concur!

EHB: email pals, ha ha

SF: I could probably do later drinks sometime this week, just not thurs.  or we can play it by ear for next week

EHB: I guess I’ll stop pushing for an invitation to the special dinner where no one would have any idea who I am.  😉

WHOA!!!!!!  Come again?   I know what you’re thinking, dear readers.  Come on, SF.  There is no way that this guy actually suggested that you go on a blind date to your work function.

Oh, but he did.  And what did I say?  Well, there’s not even any suspense, is there?  You know I said yes. 

And this is how I have managed to combine the most nervewracking things possible into one single event.  1)  I am meeting this guy for the 1st time.  2)  I am meeting this guy for the 1st time in the presence of several of my co workers (oh and by the way we are now sitting at the firm table, where he will be subject to up-close scrutiny); and 3) I have to go up on stage to accept the award.


One blessing is that I don’t have to give a speech.  That might actually send me into a full blown panic attack.  As it is, I am actually getting rather excited.  (Once I got over the “what will I wear” panic, that is.)   This will either be sheer genius or it will be an unmitigated disaster, but at any rate I’ll get a good blog out of it.   And at a minimum it will be good for other peoples’ entertainment — my co-worker L., who will be at the dinner, was pretty much beside herself with excitement that she will get to witness this whole event go down.

And one more plus — I think this might beat out white water rafting in the adventure category…don’t you?

To be continued…

….And Guest

Dear readers: I apologize in advance for what I’m sure will be the supremely whiny tone of this post.  I try to self censor my whining to a certain degree (though it may not seem that way!) but there are some days when I just can’t help it.  This is one of those days.

First, we have officially arrived in that oh-so-glorious time of year known in L.A. as “June Gloom.”  I know, I know, cry me a river, I live in a place where it’s sunny every day and I complain about a few overcast mornings.  Wah wah wah.  But it just sets the tone for the day.  (It may also not have helped that I I was listening to decidedly melancholy Jack Johnson songs on the way to work.  Hmm.)

I arrived at work and the harsh realization washed over me that because of our totally unsuccessful waste of a mediation yesterday, I am now forced to begin preparing for my fourth trial this year, which begins June 30.  As much as I have actually really enjoyed doing these trial, I I also enjoy, you know, having a life.  Bye, bye, life–see you in July.

I went to a meeting and when I came back, there was a message from a woman at a local bar organization.  My firm is getting a pro bono award based on that asylum case that I worked on, which is really awesome.  The awards dinner is coming up in 2 weeks.  But what I didn’t realize is that instead of getting to sit with my co-workers who show up to fill the table my firm bought, I will apparently be sitting at a separate table — presumably with the other award recipients.  That wouldn’t be bad (even though I don’t know them personally, I have emailed with some of them and they are very nice women) except for the kicker: the woman was calling to find out who I was bringing as my guest.

Most of the time, I’m pretty fine with being single.  But I must say that in these situations, being sans a plus-one is supremely sucky.  I had to take several deep breaths before I picked up the phone and called the woman back to tell her that I wouldn’t be bringing a guest.  I know it’s stupid, but I actually felt embarrassed to say that — to a woman I’ve never even met!  She sort of paused awkwardly and then told me, well, I have the option of bringing a complimentary guest, so just to let her know a few days before if I change my mind. 

After I hung up the phone, I was thinking back to a bruncheon event I went to several months ago where one of my co-workers was being honored for her pro bono work for a different organization.  She’s my office neighbor, also an associate and a year older than me.  A group of us came from the firm, and she also had her husband, parents and in-laws there.  I remember even at the time, watching how her husband was there at her side, beaming at her and supporting her and being proud of her, and I thought how I wish I had that.  And I still really, really wish I had that.  Of course I don’t want to be with someone for the sake of being with someone — I want the right someone. 

My mom asked me why I didn’t just invite one of my friends to accompany me to the event, but I don’t know; it just seems inappropriate somehow.  So instead I decided to invite this lawyer who became my co-counsel on the case a few months back and has helped me tremendously from the beginning.  He was working for a local nonprofit and giving me lots of advice, then he transferred to a nonprofit in San Diego, my case eventually got moved to San Diego and he kept helping me.  And — this is uber embarrassing — somewhere along the way I started to develop this half-joking crush on him.  Of course, I have never to this day met this guy.  We have exchanged tons of emails and phone calls (always about the case), but all I knew aside from his job was the fact that he was about my age.  But I would joke to my co-worker L. that he was going to fall in love with me, he just didn’t know if because he hasn’t met me yet.

So I sent him an email asking if he wanted to come with me since he worked so hard on the case.  And he replied that he was really touched that I’d invited him, but he couldn’t make it because he’d be in Hawaii.



Again, I know that it is supremely idiotic and nonsensical to be disappointed to learn that a guy I’ve never met is getting married.  But I seriously wanted to just stop my work and sit and pout.

I can just hear all my friends screaming at me simultaneously as I say this, so I must preface it by saying I know this statement is irrational and fundamentally untrue, but the whole lack-of-guest situation makes me feel like some kind of a failure. 

So then I went to a meeting tonight and, you know how when you get fixated on something that’s all you can see?  Like when you have a new haircut you dont like and all you can do is look at people’s hair?  Well tonight all I could see were all the sparkly wedding rings on everyone’s fingers.  And I just felt disgusted with myself because I really have never, ever been that girl.  On the one hand, I feel like since I was engaged and we broke up, I’m in absolutely no rush to jump into anything, and I have really become accustomed to having my own life and doing my own thing.  But as I get older, being single becomes more and more rare and I start to feel like a weird outlier.   It’s not that I’m unhappy or envious of all my friends who are getting married — to the contrary, I love helping them and celebrating with them and I think it’s wonderful — but I can tell that I’m just going to feel more and more…different.  And that’s hard.

Then I came home today and greeting me was an (adorable, by the way) wedding invitation from one of my close friends.  And on the envelope?  You guessed it: “Miss Single/Fabulous & Guest.”

I don’t know, dear readers.  None of these things should really upset me, I realize.  But somehow today, I just haven’t been able to shake the feeling that I just want to burst into tears.

As I said…I guess it’s just one of those days.

My Future Husband

After a day at home, dear readers (thankfully I am sort of slow at work right now, normally I just have to suck it up and go anyway), I am happy to report that I think my bad cold has turned the corner!  Hopefully by tomorrow I’ll feel even more like normal.

So tonight I was supposed to go to a fundraising dinner for an organization that one of my fellow associates, AB, is involved with, on the board of directors.  My firm bought a table and I agreed to go when AB called me and I knew he was hard pressed to find a warm body to fill the seats.  At the time, I thought that I was just doing a mitzvah for a friend; I had no idea that AB had any ulterior motive.

But today, when I woke up feeling like death and emailed AB to let him know that our other co-worker’s fiance would be taking my place, he responded, “I’m really sorry to hear that you are sick and that you can’t make it to the Awards Dinner tonight.  I am especially bummed because I was hoping to introduce you to a really nice young man who is going to be there tonight.  He’s actually one of the awards recipients, and I’m sure L. will tell you all about how tall, dark, handsome and great he is and how much you missed out… unless you have a miraculous recovery and can join us after all…  🙂  *cough, cough*  In all seriousness, I was hoping to introduce you to him, but perhaps on another occasion.”

I had to say, very impressive, AB!  Way to prey on a girl’s weaknesses.  And since I was at home and bored, I proceeded to do some cyber recon on this guy (AB is a great guy and all, but let’s just say I’m not sure I trust his taste in men!).  Sure enough, though,  my recon mission revealed that this guy was an attractive, MBA, former I-banker business owner who volunteers with kids.  Good on paper — check!  I emailed my co-worker L. and informed her that it was her duty to check this guy out in person.  I then mused that I hoped I wasn’t missing the chance to meet my future husband.  L. encouraged me to get up off the couch and rally for the event, but I figured that I’d rather not have my future husband meet me when I’m all runny-nosed and hacking up a lung.  My friend T. confirmed to me that since my future husband was going to be receiving an award tonight, better I meet him when he doesn’t have other fish to fry. 

Ok, so maybe we were getting a bit carried away with the “my future husband” shenanigans… 🙂

In other news, I am still confused about whether the situation with Cute Boy is a potential love interest thing or whether it’s just a friend/networking thing.  As you know, we met because our parents decided we should, he emailed me, we went to lunch about a month ago, and then last week we went out to dinner.  I had hoped that dinner would clarify for me whether thing were friendly or more than friendly but they didn’t.  He had told me he wanted to ask my advice about job hunting, but it turned out that he had decided to do one last hurrah and tour with his band in August and September, so he’s not really job hunting yet.  We talked a bit about job stuff, but the majority of the 2 hours was just spent talking about all sorts of random stuff.  We each had 2 beers, we laughed a lot, and he paid for everything at the end (over my protest).  But then at the end, he seemed really anxious to get out of there and just gave me a casual hug goodbye and told me we’d talk soon.  I decided it was just a friend thing, and thought that was sort of too bad because I was starting to crush on him a little bit.

I had invited him to this networky/drinks thing that I was putting together with a new acquaintance of mine that was supposed to be tomorrow, and he seemed psyched about going, but again — hello, networking.  Then the Laker game was scheduled for tomorrow so I emailed Cute Boy today to let him know that the networky drinks were being postponed, and mentioned offhand that I’m sick but that if I felt better I might go watch the game at a sports bar – but I didn’t specifically invite him or anything.  Then he wrote back, “That’s totally cool, I hope you feel better soon. If you do decide that you’d like to go to a sports bar or something for food and/or drinks to watch the game, let me know. I’d be interested in joining you.” 

 This seems sort of promising, but who knows.  I’m totally happy to be friends with this guy — he’s fun and smart and I have a relative shortage of guy friends compared to other times in my life — but if that’s the case I’d sort of like to know so I’m not wondering and crushing needlessly.  I’ll keep you posted!

Speaking of guy friends, I’ve got a new one who I’ve hung out with a few times now and he’s totally awesome…and much needed, since all of my other guy friends consist of my ex-boyfriends and my friend D. who’s gay.  Straight male friend = quite refreshing.  And some of my friends would say, an urban myth, but I disagree.

On a final note, does anyone else love, love, love Top Chef???  I have been watching a marathon for the past 3 hours (no matter that I have seen all the episodes already) and I dig it so much.  Ironically, I hardly cook at all myself, and in fact, tonight I have been watching the show while devouring Thai food takeout.

Maybe I should work on that before I meet my future husband?


Matchmaker…Part II

I’m so, so tired….and yet 1) it’s only 9:47 p.m. (yes, I’m old), 2) I really feel like writing even though I have no coherent ideas of what to write about and 3) if I go to bed now, not only will I be officially lame, even worse — I will miss tonight’s episode of The Hills. (Yes, I know it’s largely staged and most of the people on the show are almost unwatchably annoying. But somehow I still love it. Hey, a girl’s gotta have her guilty pleasures!)

Anyway, after my last post complaining about my mom’s long distance matchmaking efforts, I feel the need to clear things up. First of all, I’m not necessarily opposed to matchmaking in general. In fact, I think meeting someone through a friend is sort of an ideal way to meet someone –though I’d rather it be more organic, like at a party or group event as opposed to a bonafide setup. But even a real blind date set up by a friend is not so much different than going out with the string of guys I’ve gone out with recently (and a friend of a friend is somewhat less likely to be an A-hole than some of the dudes I’ve encountered on Match). So, in case any of my friends reading this have some great catch of a guy in mind for me but are holding back on playing matchmaker, fear not! I’m nothing if not openminded. My mother just falls into…a special category, I guess.

But, I admit to you and you only, dear readers (I will NOT say this to my mom, lest she redouble her efforts) that Mom’s colleague’s son, who I expected to be some weird snotty punk was actually….(gulp)…fairly adorable. Nothing’s going to come of it — he emailed me soon after our lunch and I emailed back and invited him to a networking event this week, and heard nothing — but still, it’s always nice to be pleasantly surprised.

I also decided, with the lapsing of my Match subscription and my firm’s recent emphasis on marketing and business development, that I’m going to refocus my efforts on networking instead of dating. Sort of a kill 2 birds w/ one stone type thing. I counted it up and realized that in the past 6 months, I went out on dates (between 1 date and 5 dates) with eight different online guys. And, while some of them were perfectly nice, most of them I only went out with once or twice and then we never spoke again. And it makes me think, Geez, what a waste of my time to spend hours with someone who I may have no connection with whatsoever, when I can be going to events where I meet a bunch of different people — who may be friends, business contacts, or romances — but in any event would be fun. So that is my new strategy.

And, sure enough, I got a chance to put this strategy to work last Thurs. My co worker and I went to a happy hour that was put together by a girl, N., who I met through my friend D. a few weeks ago. We met up at X-Bar in Century City and ended up sitting around one of the fire pits outside and ordering some appetizers. People continued to trickle in and we got a pretty good group. I ended up sitting next to one particular guy and we started chatting. About an hour ended up going by without me even noticing! He’s smart, cute, has a great laugh, has a super interesting job — and even watches The Hills! My little heart went pitter patter. When my co worker and I left, he and I exchanged business cards, he said “Let’s be in touch” and joked “Sleep tight.” My co worker later told me that she had been spying on us and that he seemed into me.

Now, my dear readers, you know that I am pretty clueless about how to deal with guys in general and that I am constantly breaking “The Rules.” Even though I break them, I at least know what the rules are when you’ve gone on a date with a guy – you’re supposed to wait for him to contact you. But what about this situation, when the guise of the card exchange (if not the real intent) is just networking? My co worker advised me to wait until Wed or Thurs this week and then email him. I think that’s probably smart. But I still wish he’d email or call me 1st! 🙂 If there are any guys who read this (I’m not sure there are), what do you think about the subject?

Anyway, if nothing else he was a fun guy to chat with…and after so much time meeting guys on my computer screen, it’s just refreshing to know I’m still capable of going out and meeting people in “real” life!

Now I’m really off to bed….more soon!


Sailing Away …

I have arrived back this afternoon from a spectacular weekend in Santa Barbara, and it was exactly what I needed. It was my firm’s annual litigation department retreat, and it was such a fun trip. I’m very lucky to have hilarious, entertaining and nice co-workers that I actually really enjoy spending time with, and my firm doesn’t even force us to do work-related activities, so it was really nothing more than a heavily subsidized vacation! Ahhh…

First of all, we stayed in an amazing hotel. It would be a great place for a romantic weekend getaway with one’s sweetie. A lot of people brought their spouses or sig o’s (most of my co workers, even the other junior associates, are married) but I got to room with one of the first year associates, and we totally bonded — it was great! She’s my “little sib” at the firm but this was the first weekend we’d ever had a true heart-to-heart, and I really enjoyed getting to know more about her. She and I made plans to go out sometime soon, so that will be fun.

Other highlights of the weekend were sailboat racing (it was a gorgeous day, and my team’s boat won! — much to the dismay of my boss who is extremely competitive), wine tasting in Santa Ynez and Solvang, and of course, LOTS of eating and drinking. Somehow, despite drinking quite a bit both Fri and Sat nights, I wasn’t hungover at all this weekend! (This is nothing short of miraculous considering that my drinks on Fri night included white wine, red wine, an Irish car bomb and 2 Cosmopolitans!) My boss was not so lucky, and in fact, he ended up having to stay home to nurse his hangover on Sat in lieu of wine tasting. Later that day, my co worker overheard him utter the best quote of the weekend: “Man, my back hurts. I don’t know if it’s from playing tennis or throwing up.”

I have to say, I totally welcome scandal and hilarity on work trips, so long as it’s not me! 🙂

Last night after a delicious wine pairing dinner in downtown Santa Barbara, my hotel roomie and I decided to venture out and bar-hop on State Street. Wow, if there was ever a way to feel incredibly old, that was it! We had a beer at one pub (where we monopolized the jukebox with Journey and other goodies) and then moved on to another bar where we claimed a booth and people watched. We were thisclose to calling it a night, when two guys slipped into our booth and started chatting with us. My hotel roomie and I share the same name, which the guys loved (leading us to decide that we need to take this show on the road in L.A.!) and they convinced us, in spite of our reluctance, to follow them to a dance club down the street. They were on a bachelor party and as it turned out, they were the only guys in the bar who didn’t look like they were using a fake ID.

I was hoping for some good stories to ensue, but sadly, as soon as we got to the club the other guys disappeared who-knows-where and then left us with their dorky friend. Poor guy…he was perfectly nice and smart, but as far as cuteness goes, this was the classic bait and switch. When we learned the club had a cover charge (only $5, but c’mon, it’s the principle — who wants to wait behind a velvet rope in a college town?) we used that as our excuse and we hopped in the next cab.

All in all, it was a great weekend and I feel very relaxed and zen to begin the new week. I need to really kick it into high gear now, as I have been slacking at work (deservedly, after the hours I billed last month, but still.) Starting tomorrow, will work hard, I promise!

I have an update about New Guy, which has officially come to an end, but I sort of don’t want to dedicate space to him! Let’s just say that I think I may have preferred it when I thought he died.

Is that mean? 🙂