Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

I have to admit, I’m sad that I’m done with my trip recaps already, because now I am faced with the daunting task of deciding what to write about.  I fear this will be very stream-of-consciousness; consider yourself warned!

Everyone has been lovely in welcoming me home, but I think no one is happier to see me than he is:

My beautiful furry friend has been following me around like a puppy, nuzzling me at every turn and even sleeping with me.  I hadn’t been sure whether my absence would provoke lots of love or vicious attacks upon my return, but thank god it’s the former!

Last night I went to a networky get together with my friend J.  A guy she knows who is also an attorney put it together.  He seems like one of those people who knows everyone and is really good about staying in touch with people and networking and shmoozing and all that good stuff.  I wholeheartedly admire people like that, but I myself am just not like that.  Don’t get me wrong, I actually love meeting new people.  I try to always be friendly, and given the right situation I can be really outgoing.  But sometimes in big groups I am more inclined to just hang back and take it all in.  And when it comes to marketing myself, I’m sometimes shy.  I never want to seem like I’m being pushy or obnoxious, so I feel like it’s a fine line.  My firm has gotten really gung ho about the marketing thing lately too — today we had a workshop on “elevator pitches.”  So I know this is something I need to work on.

Still, I’m never quite sure how others perceive me, so it’s always interesting to find out.  Last night one of the guys was extremely charming and gregarious and J. and I and two others were talking to him.  He turned to J. and said, “You look very Nordic.”  [We cracked up.  J. is petite and blond, but I think “Nordic” may be a first.]  Then he turned to me and said “You look very…tall.”  Then he continued, “…unassuming…and gentle.”

Hmm….okaaaay.  I suppose there is nothing particularly wrong with unassuming-ness.  And there’s certainly nothing wrong with being gentle.  I’m just not sure that’s the image I want to be projecting to the world.  In the dating world, unassuming is probably just code for boring, no?  And in business?  I mean, I’m a litigator for God’s sake!  If you were going to trial, would you hire the “unassuming and gentle” trial attorney?  Unassuming and gentle makes me sound like this:

 

So yeah…guess I need to work on that. 

Baaa.

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So Much to Say

Open up my head and let me out…

I have a lot I could blog about but I haven’t had the time or energy in between my adventures to do so, and so…it will just have to wait until I return!  That’s right, in a few short hours I will be whisked by car down to LAX and will be flying across the pond to touch down in lovely England.  I can’t wait!!!  I think this is the ideal time for me to be getting out of the city, out of my everyday life, and off to do some adventuring.  I will do my best to photo-document it (better than Vegas, anyway)!

First up, Keswick (in the Lake District) for my friend M’s wedding celebration, where I will be staying in this quaint house.  Then to London, then Paris.   Squeeaaaall!!!  I would be even more excited if I wasn’t so sleep deprived.  I hope I can sleep on the flight tonight…

I somehow managed to pack all my stuff into the large backpack on wheels (though I had to omit some of the clothes I wanted to bring to make way for the hiking boots.  Oh well.  🙂 )  I then had a comedy of errors this morning trying to wrangle poor Noodles into the cat carrier to take him to the vet where he will be boarded.  At one point I was on my stomach on my bedroom floor, in my work clothes, trying to coax him from under the bed with my shoe (he has a bit of a shoe/foot fetish).  When that didn’t work, I was forced to resort to his nemesis, the vacuum, which always scares the bejesus out of him. Sure enough, the instant I turned it on, he went peeling out from under the bed where I was able to tackle him with a blanket and shove him into the carrier.

….Whew.

And now, just tying up a few loose ends at work before I head home to do the final packing (aka, zipping the suitcase).  Have a great couple of weeks, dear readers, and I promise some big ol’ posts when I get back!

xoxo, SF

In Honor of a Recent Comment

This is courtesy of a friend’s Facebook page.

The original caption reads, “Honey, DTMFA.”

Before today I had never even heard that expression (I guess I have been living under a rock!) and now I have heard it twice!  Love it.

The adorable boy I’m sleeping with tonight

You’re jealous, admit it.

I wanted to write a real post tonight but I’m too sleepy!  More tomorrow.

Out of curiosity, do you have enough time to date?

(Before I get to the meat of this post, side note: Why oh why do I suddenly get such pleasure from watching One Tree Hill, possibly in the top 5 worst non-reality prime time shows on TV? I haven’t seen the show in about 3 years and now they are doing flash forwards and flash backs and it’s just so addictive….)

Anyway, today my co-worker L. brought me a very blogworthy book. (In fact, she prefaced it this way: “Don’t be mad! It’s not because I think you NEED this, but I bought it for myself when I was single! And if nothing else it will be good for your blog!”) The book is called Why You’re Still Single: things your friends would tell you if you promised not to get mad.

Well, I haven’t gotten very far into the book yet — I’m on Part II, “You’re Just Not that Into Yourself” — but already I can tell it’s seriously a gem. I almost hate to admit how much I identify with the pitfalls the book describes: insecurity, desperation, and most of all, “Sure, ‘a good man is hard to find,’ but that statement ceases to mean anything when you add the corollary, ‘especially if you never leave your cats and your TiVo in your godforsaken apartment.'”

Wow. Guilty as charged. As I type, I am in yoga pants and my college sweatshirt, laptop on my lap, Project Runway on TV, and my cat Noodles at my side. (What, you mean to tell me that I’m unlikely to meet a man this way?? Pshaw.) The book goes on to say, “And you don’t have to be a hermit or couch potato to put up walls. Spend sixty hours a week at work? Hard to meet a guy there.” Ooh. So there’s the double whammy.

As I read this, I thought to myself, 1) “Wow, I really need to get out of the house more and DO things” and 2) “Why the hell do you think I’m internet dating, people??”

Then, only moments later, I received an email from a Match.com guy that contained the following (this was after he asked what kind of law I practice and I gave him a perhaps over-enthusiastic description): “Out of curiosity, do you have enough time to date? I imagine you’re working a minimum or 60hrs a week.”

Yikes. How is a girl supposed to answer that? The honest truth is, I don’t know. I mean, the last guy I dated was also a lawyer and he worked way more than me, so meeting up for late night dinner was not uncommon. But for non-lawyers, is my schedule unreasonable? Truth be told, up through my trial in March things ARE going to be rough. But I think if I want to make something work, it’d be doable.

I think.

Maybe.

I’ve been trying not to think about C., with moderate success, mostly because I am almost too damn busy at work to obsess. I’m in a pretty good spot as far as not feeling heartbroken, because I know that it’s for the best. The part that gets me is that it was so nice to just have that human connection–and I’m not just talking about the sex, but just the touch and the closeness, too–and now I’m back here and there’s just none of that on the horizon. Meanwhile, C. has at least one go-to booty call…but again, I shouldn’t think about that because it just makes me feel sort of ill.

Also, I had gotten used to us talking every day – online, on the phone, or texting. Now I can feel a definite shift. We still chat a bit, but it’s just different — like we both know that we won’t be seeing each other any time soon, and that nothing’s going to happen between us, so there’s no use.

Oh, and finally, to answer one of my readers’ questions: yes, as far as I can tell, C. and I are still going to Europe together. I figure by then things will have simmered down to nothing, since we probably won’t see each other before then, and then we’ll just be able to travel as friends. The only issue is that, because we’ll be doing the planning NOW, it will make it somewhat harder to put him out of my mind. But i don’t want to call off the trip–I don’t want to go on the trip solo (and I’m going regardless because my best friend M. is getting married), he has his heart set on it, and I know we’ll have fun together. Who knows – maybe I’ll even be dating someone by then, so the gray area of friends-with-benefits won’t even be there.

We can only hope ….

New Year, New Blog

Welcome, dear readers!

I began blogging about 6 months ago under a different blog name, but made the error of sharing the blog’s existence with literally everyone and their mother (most notably, MY mother), which led to much self-censoring. (And, even with the self-censoring, lectures about such topics as my relationship patterns and my drinking habits.) If a girl can’t be honest and up-front in her blog, then where can she?? Because of this, I decided to retire the old blog at the end of 2007.

But, as it turns out, the past 6 months have turned me into something of a blogging junkie, and it took a whopping 2 days for me to experience blogging withdrawal sufficient to motivate me to resuscitate the beloved blog under a new pseudonym. So, here I am!

If you are curious to read all about me and get caught up to present-day, feel free to email me and I will send you a link to the old blog. It would take me till July 2008 to try to play adequate catch-up here! For a short intro, I am a 27 year old lawyer in L.A., am single, and live in a cute apartment in West Hollywood with my beloved cat. (Yes, go ahead and make the jokes – I will often be joking about my crazy cat lady-ness too.) In the past year-and-a-half I have broken off an engagement, dated 2 new guys for a few months each, and gone on a string of hideous dates with online suitors. I love to write, and I harbor notions of leaving my cushy law job, taking my laptop and moving to some hip-but-affordable city, working part time at a bookstore and spending all my other time in coffee shops writing the Great American Novel.

I guess that’s me in a nutshell (help! how do I get out of this nutshell?) If you have any other questions, just ask!

Since it is a new year, it is time to share my goals for this new year. Now, normally I make resolutions that I know I will never stick to — for example, “work out more.” This year, instead, I decided to give myself a goal that I will feel excited about working on. That said, here are my goals for the new year.

1) Write more. Blogging, journaling, short stories, you name it. I just bought a book about novel writing. Maybe I’ll join a writing group, though with my work hours that may be too ambitious right now.
2) Decide what my dream life is. What job do I really want to be doing? What city do I really want to live in? etc.
3) By the beginning of 2009, make changes to make that life a reality. I do believe that I owe my job another solid year. But after that, I feel that I am well within my right to follow my heart (once I figure out in step 2 what my heart wants). I figure that even though leaving stability for the unknown would be scary, when else will I be able to make such a leap? I’m young, single, no kids, no mortgage. I have enough saved to live for a year without working, or at least just working part time.
4) Focus on spirituality. I have never been a very spiritual person, but I’m reading the book Eat Pray Love and it has inspired me. I think that connecting to sprituality will help me with a lot of my personal issues — stress, anxiety, etc — and will help bring a much-needed balance to my life.

And that, dear readers, will keep me plenty busy in 2008, I believe!